Monday, July 11, 2011


Eh. Poop.

My followers list has disappeared. Not totally, though. It has left a few traces of its existence. For example, the title of my followers list remains. Just all of the followers have disappeared.

I know you guys haven't all left me, though, because I can still see all my followers through my dashboard or something like that. You all love me lots and lots and lots and lots, and I know it. Hee hee.

This is quite an issue, however. First of all, it will be much more difficult-er for me to visit all of your blogses at my leisure. And second, it will be nigh impossible for any new people to follow my blog! OH NOES!!!!

So far, I have not uncovered a solution to this mystery. If you guys have any suggestions or anything like that PLEASE HELP ME. AND STUFF!!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Summertime And The Living Is Easy


Going to bed late

Sleeping in

Looking for bugs under rocks

Ice cream

Aimlessly Wandering

Drive-in movies

Reading a good book in the shade

Playing the guitar

The beach

Falling asleep with a fan whirring beside you

Skipping stones

The smell of freshly-mowed grass

The sounds unique to
a hot day in the city

Jumping through sprinklers


Flying kites

Long car rides

Sitting in the grass

The noise of flip-flops

Blue skies

Barbecued food

Convertible rides

Building tree houses




Other cool summer stuff like that


Half of a rabbit. Complete with spilled intestines and other internal organs.

(Although the murderer has not yet been identified, suspects include two housecats. Please leave any information you have regarding the incident, within the comments section. We at Rantings of a Madman would sincerely appreciate any help you can provide. Thank you.)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

(Don't Fear) The Reaper

Long time no see.

So today, me n' my posse (a.k.a. my parental figures) visited various cemeteries and planted various flowers at the graves of various relatives, who happened to have been born and have died on various dates. So it goes.

'Twas quite fun. The whole time, the sky was all dark and cloudy and ominous-like, which added a darkish feeling to the already somber cemetery mood. It was clear that rain was not far off (though it hasn't rained yet. Pretty sure God's just messing with us again. I mean, the rapture didn't happen yesterday like so many people had planned). I like rainy days. And sunny days. But not necessarily cloudy days. I say, if it's cloudy, it should be raining, otherwise it should be sunny.

Aaaanyways. All the cemetery-ness got me thinkin'. I wonder where I'm gonna be buried when I kick the bucket. Wonder who'll bury me. Wonder who'll show up to my funeral. Wonder what my gravestone will look like. It'd be cool if I was put in one of those fancy mausoleums with the awesome carvings, pillars, statues of angels, and calligraphic Latin words that translate into some really deep quote about how death is a door and time is a ceiling fan or something. Yeahhhhh.

That won't happen though. My family is too cheap, and I doubt I'm gonna make enough money to afford all that cool stuff. Kinda like how people are buried in those elegant, expensive suits. Like, what's the point? I'm good being buried in ripped up jeans and a dirty tee. It's just gonna rot and get eaten by worms and stuff, along with the rest of you. And then plants are going to grow and flourish using the nutrients provided by your decayed corpse. It's the ciiiiiiirclee of liiiiiiiiifee!

Well that's all for now. See you next time! Thanks for watching! Drive safe now! Love you all!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Yes, This Is A New Post. No, You Are Not Imagining Things.

Ouch. Six posts last year. Six. I can count that number on the fingers of one hand.

...Plus a finger from the other hand.

Well, I'll be honest with you guys. This post isn't about anything. Of course, neither were any of my other posts, even when I did write regularly. And for some reason, you guys still read them. And some of you even commented on them.

And you guys are awesome for that. Like, really. You should probably get somebody to make you a cookie or give you a high five or something. I would do it, but I'm here right now, and you're not.

And I'm too lazy to make cookies anyway. Sorry.

Well let's see. I suppose if I post something for the first time in months, it should have some sort of relevant content. So......

This guy is my newly discovered hero. So, I plan on learning to play the flute and then moving to New York City where I can live off the streets as a bearded, flute-playing, Mountain Dew drinking homeless man. That is my life goal. That is my dream. Nothing else matters.
Don't worry, I'll keep all of you updated on my flute-learning, at least until I leave for the NYC.

And who knows, maybe the next time you go there, you'll see me, sitting on the side of the street, playing my flute and drinking Mountain Dew.

Okay, so that probably won't happen. Although it would be cool to learn how to play the flute. And it would be even cooler to be a homeless man in New York. Maybe.