Monday, July 11, 2011


Eh. Poop.

My followers list has disappeared. Not totally, though. It has left a few traces of its existence. For example, the title of my followers list remains. Just all of the followers have disappeared.

I know you guys haven't all left me, though, because I can still see all my followers through my dashboard or something like that. You all love me lots and lots and lots and lots, and I know it. Hee hee.

This is quite an issue, however. First of all, it will be much more difficult-er for me to visit all of your blogses at my leisure. And second, it will be nigh impossible for any new people to follow my blog! OH NOES!!!!

So far, I have not uncovered a solution to this mystery. If you guys have any suggestions or anything like that PLEASE HELP ME. AND STUFF!!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Summertime And The Living Is Easy


Going to bed late

Sleeping in

Looking for bugs under rocks

Ice cream

Aimlessly Wandering

Drive-in movies

Reading a good book in the shade

Playing the guitar

The beach

Falling asleep with a fan whirring beside you

Skipping stones

The smell of freshly-mowed grass

The sounds unique to
a hot day in the city

Jumping through sprinklers


Flying kites

Long car rides

Sitting in the grass

The noise of flip-flops

Blue skies

Barbecued food

Convertible rides

Building tree houses




Other cool summer stuff like that


Half of a rabbit. Complete with spilled intestines and other internal organs.

(Although the murderer has not yet been identified, suspects include two housecats. Please leave any information you have regarding the incident, within the comments section. We at Rantings of a Madman would sincerely appreciate any help you can provide. Thank you.)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

(Don't Fear) The Reaper

Long time no see.

So today, me n' my posse (a.k.a. my parental figures) visited various cemeteries and planted various flowers at the graves of various relatives, who happened to have been born and have died on various dates. So it goes.

'Twas quite fun. The whole time, the sky was all dark and cloudy and ominous-like, which added a darkish feeling to the already somber cemetery mood. It was clear that rain was not far off (though it hasn't rained yet. Pretty sure God's just messing with us again. I mean, the rapture didn't happen yesterday like so many people had planned). I like rainy days. And sunny days. But not necessarily cloudy days. I say, if it's cloudy, it should be raining, otherwise it should be sunny.

Aaaanyways. All the cemetery-ness got me thinkin'. I wonder where I'm gonna be buried when I kick the bucket. Wonder who'll bury me. Wonder who'll show up to my funeral. Wonder what my gravestone will look like. It'd be cool if I was put in one of those fancy mausoleums with the awesome carvings, pillars, statues of angels, and calligraphic Latin words that translate into some really deep quote about how death is a door and time is a ceiling fan or something. Yeahhhhh.

That won't happen though. My family is too cheap, and I doubt I'm gonna make enough money to afford all that cool stuff. Kinda like how people are buried in those elegant, expensive suits. Like, what's the point? I'm good being buried in ripped up jeans and a dirty tee. It's just gonna rot and get eaten by worms and stuff, along with the rest of you. And then plants are going to grow and flourish using the nutrients provided by your decayed corpse. It's the ciiiiiiirclee of liiiiiiiiifee!

Well that's all for now. See you next time! Thanks for watching! Drive safe now! Love you all!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Yes, This Is A New Post. No, You Are Not Imagining Things.

Ouch. Six posts last year. Six. I can count that number on the fingers of one hand.

...Plus a finger from the other hand.

Well, I'll be honest with you guys. This post isn't about anything. Of course, neither were any of my other posts, even when I did write regularly. And for some reason, you guys still read them. And some of you even commented on them.

And you guys are awesome for that. Like, really. You should probably get somebody to make you a cookie or give you a high five or something. I would do it, but I'm here right now, and you're not.

And I'm too lazy to make cookies anyway. Sorry.

Well let's see. I suppose if I post something for the first time in months, it should have some sort of relevant content. So......

This guy is my newly discovered hero. So, I plan on learning to play the flute and then moving to New York City where I can live off the streets as a bearded, flute-playing, Mountain Dew drinking homeless man. That is my life goal. That is my dream. Nothing else matters.
Don't worry, I'll keep all of you updated on my flute-learning, at least until I leave for the NYC.

And who knows, maybe the next time you go there, you'll see me, sitting on the side of the street, playing my flute and drinking Mountain Dew.

Okay, so that probably won't happen. Although it would be cool to learn how to play the flute. And it would be even cooler to be a homeless man in New York. Maybe.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Some may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...

Friday, June 18, 2010

More Stuff from School Notebooks of Years Past

Assignment: Write a paragraph about what animal you would live with if you spent a week in the wild.
If I could live in the wild for a week, I would live with a pack of vultures. They would teach me how to fly. I would soar around in the sky, scanning the ground for dead creatures to consume. I would tear away at the rotting flesh of deceased organisms to satisfy my hunger. It would be a lot of fun.

Assignment: Write a paragraph about what you think life would be like if humans didn't need to sleep.
If we didn't need sleep, life would be better. People could get more things done if we didn't need sleep. There would be seven or eight extra hours to do things. Of course, that would mean more time at work and school. Actually, life might be worse. I'll think about it.


Assignment: Actually, I don't know what this assignment was...
I once hummed a tune while walking down the street. I thought it was a pretty nice tune. Nobody else seemed to like it, though. People gave me dirty looks. One guy disliked my tune so much that he mugged me. He stuffed a sock down my throat, put me in a garbage bag, and threw me into a river. I don't hum tunes anymore.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

"An Action Filled Scene..."

DarkJewel's latest post has inspired me to copy some stories from School Notebooks of the Past onto my blog.

This particular assignment was: Write a story that's action filled, or something like that. Yeah. So here it goes...

My stomach grumbled as I jogged home, clutching a box of jelly filled doughnuts in my hands. I licked my lips with greedy anticipation.

Just then, my spider-sense started tingling. I ducked, just in time, as somebody swung a fist at my head. I whirled around, kicking my attacker in the stomach. Tenderly placing the box of doughnuts, my precious cargo, on a nearby bush, I faced my enemy. He was lying flat on his back, dazed. Noticing his black uniform and mask, nunchakus, deadly katana, and ninja stars, I realized what he was: a dastardly pirate!

The pirate stood up, stared at me menacingly, and said something in Japanese. Ready to defend my doughnuts, I glared back just as menacingly. "I'll knock you into next week, you pastry pirate," I growled.

The pirate came at me then, screaming in Japanese. His fist slammed into my face, sending me stumbling backward. Then, the pirate disappeared in a cloud of dust.

Oh well, he must have teleported, I thought. I had been hoping for more action. I shuffled back to my doughnuts halfheartedly.

There was one small problem, though. THE DOUGHNUTS WERE GONE! I searched frantically for some sign of my doughnuts or the pirate. There! The black-clothed pastry pirate was scaling a nearby wall with my doughnuts in one hand.

In pure rage, I jumped and ran up the wall to introduce my fist to the pirate's face.

They didn't get along well.

The force of the punch sent the pirate rocketing into sometime next week. Probably Wednesday. Maybe even Thursday.

I picked up the box of doughnuts and started jogging home, my stomach still grumbling with greedy anticipation.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Favorites by my favorites, man:

The Beatles- Strawberry Fields
Creedence Clearwater Revival- Have You Ever Seen The Rain
Led Zeppelin- Stairway To Heaven
Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here
The Who- Baba O'Riley
The Doors- Peace Frogs
The Gorillaz- Clint Eastwood
Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody
Sublime- Boss DJ
Cake- Sheep Go To Heaven
Linkin Park- In The End

Why? Because I felt like it, that's why.

And that's all I've got to say 'bout that.


Thursday, April 29, 2010

Some Neat Stuff Here, Guys...

You know, there are a lot of awesomely awesome artists out there. And a lot of those awesomely awesome artists are pretty awesome. And, over the years, I've found a few awesome artists that stand out from the rest. Here are a few...

Rob Steen

His style is outlandishly awesome. His drawings are weird and kinda creepy at the same time. It's like some Tool music video directed by the guy who illustrates the Scary Stories books and Salvador Dali. Yeah. Pretty crazy. You can find some of his drawings at his blog, .

Shaun Tan

Next on the list, we have Shaun Tan. And, again, we have weird art. But this time, it's not weird and kinda creepy, it's just weird. Not like Tool music video weird or Salvador Dali weird, just...funny weird. He's a picture book illustrator/author. But they're not your run of the mill picture books. They're deep and cool and stuff. His site is . Go there, now!

Skottie Young

Hey, another great artist! Skottie Young's style is more comic bookish, which makes sense, since he artisterizes comic books. His drawings are edgy and cartoony, making them...ya know, awesome. So check it out. Really. It would be beneficial to your health and wellness. You can find his art at .

Okay, so those are a few of the awesomely awesome artists that stand out to me. I know, I only gave three, but that's better than two, isn't it? Now, don't waste any more time; go to those sites and indulge in the art. Do it!

And that's all I've got to say about that.


Saturday, March 20, 2010


Yes, a post. An actual post. I'm not dead.


Unlike the blogger community. So many of the blogs that were more than active when this blog was born waaay back in '08 are not so active now.

Inactive, if you will.

But I'm doing my part to keep it (metaphorically) living and breathing. It's a metaphor 'cuz, you know, blogs don't live and breath.

You prolly already knew that, though.

As I was saying, I'm doing my part by posting once in a while. And you guys are doing your part by reading my posts once in a while.

We're so responsible.

And yet, this bloggage circle is still slowly dying. And we can't do a whole lot to save it.

ON that happy note, here's a picture, taken by my brother, of a pile of cigarettes on the ground in New York City. Enjoy!