Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Mission: Impossible (Actually, Very Possible)

Ok. My brother has this awesome hooded sweatshirt. I need it. NEED IT. If I do not get it, I will explode. Okay, maybe not, but I still really want it.\

But, luckily, I know how I can get it from him. I'll just take it. I take stuff from him a lot, and luckily he doesn't live with me, so if I take it, it'll be a while before he can get it back.

So, I have a question: Should I take it from him while he's at his house or while he's not there?

Taking it while he's there will be dangerous. I would be risking death and pain. Not only that, but he would probably mortally injure me and leave me to die while he pries it from my hands and laughs his head off as he walks away from my body. Meaning that I wouldn't get the hoodie anyway. That would be the downside. But, this would be MUCH more fun than stealing it while he isn't there.

Then there's the possibility of taking it from him while he's not there. This would be safer and much more efficient. Although, it would be very boring and not nearly pleasing enough.

So, what should I do? I don't really know.


Peace Out,, 08!

Today is the last day of 2008, in case you've been in a coma since October.

But, umm, yeah. 2008 was a pretty good year and all. The New York Giants won the superbowl (they're my favorite team, man) and David Cook won American Idol and the Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series ( they're my second favorite baseball team, next to the New York Yankees).

So, 2008 was great, but '09 is comin' up, and it better be good.

Cause if it's not, I'm suing. I don't know who I would sue, though. Maybe my brother. Yeah...

Anyway, smell ya later, 2008.

Hey, 2009, what's up?


Sunday, December 28, 2008

Chicken Invasion

The chickens are on a mission to wipe out the entire human race.

They have started with door-knob-eating-carpet-licker.

Well, he's not dead yet, but they have mortally wounded him.

See, I know the chickens' plans. Yeah, that's right, for all you chickens out there: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO!!

Yeah, see, they began the war by sending out scouts. Metal lawn ornament roosters. Yep. They put a dozen roosters in every Wal-Mart across the globe, hoping that we foolish humans would buy every one.

And, sadly, they fooled me. My family and I bought one to put in our yard, heedless of the terrible things that would be caused by the act.

So, for a while, we left that metal lawn-rooster alone. But then we gave him a ridiculous name: Drumstick. He's secretly despised ever since the day that we gave him that name. He just sat in our yard, scheming ways to murder us.

And, finally, it happened. Door-knob-eating-carpet-licker came to my house.

That evil steel rooster had its revenge. It showed no mercy, ripping the flesh from Door-knob-eating-carpet-licker's nose. Blood stained the snow, painting it a beautiful crimson shade.

Door-knob-eating-carpet-licker's scream echoed throughout the town. If you heard somebody screaming in agony on Saturday, December 20th, it was him.

We tried to nurse his wound, but to no avail. He perished that night. Oh, wait, no he didn't.

Anyway, he was the first victim of the chickens. Prepare yourselves for an oncoming attack. After the metal rooster scouts have weakened us, the full invasion will begin. Our world will slowly die, until the chickens rule. In a few days, the news will have story after miserable story of the foul fowls' attacks.

Your only hope is to crawl to the corner of the room, curl up into a fetal position, suck your thumb, and cry like a helpless baby.

Goodbye cruel world! All hail the chickens!

Visit SMUR for door-knob-eating-carpet-licker's side of the story (Evil Rooster).

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Okay, see you're not allowed to do this. At least in my book. You can't tag me again.

Especially if I'M the one that tagged YOU. No tagbacks people. It's just not right. I got tagged once, and that's more than enough.

So, no, I'm not doin' this.




There once was a cat. I named him Bud. He enjoyed perching upon my grandmother's front porch.

I enjoyed yelling "Get off that porch, you dirty, fat cat!!".

He did not enjoy wobbling hurriedly down the steps and through the yard. He also did not enjoy leaping over the tall fence to escape my wrath.

As he hauled himself over that fence, fear obviously filled his poor little heart. Oh well.

But, I did feel a small sting of pity in my poor little heart as I gazed at his scruffy old body scurrying down the sidewalk.

So I stopped. And he stopped. And he turned around. And we stared at each other for along time.

And up from his poor little throat erupted a soft "Mew..."

That mew might have been meaningless and unimportant to any ordinary human, but, as you might have realised, I'm not exactly an ordinary human.

To me, that mew was his way of saying "Oh, I'm just a poor little homeless stray cat with no home, no family, no one to love and care for me. Oh, how I wish that someone would be kind enough to rub my poor little belly, to feed me some nice cat food, so I could be loved for ONCE in my short, miserable life."

And he kept mewing. And I kept staring at him. And he rolled over so I could pet him. And I kept staring at him as I slowly walked closer.

And he sneezed. And I didn't pet him or feed him or bring him home.

I just slowly shuffled away with a heavy heart of lead.

Later I came back. He had moved into the middle of the street, as if waiting for a pickup truck to drive over him to end his sadness. Once again I walked away.

A while later, I returned. I was thinking of Bud and was about to go see him, when I saw a pickup truck drive by. Oooh that was bad.

I hurried to the spot where he had been sitting, half expecting to see his poor little body lying limp on the side of the road. I was relieved when I noticed him on the side of the road, but not lifeless. He was headed into the woods, stepping through the ice.

He turned back and stared at me. I returned the favor.

Then he looked away, and again began walking into the woods.

And I left him there. I haven't seen poor Bud since, but I have not forgotten him. Of course, this all happened just earlier today.


Monday, December 22, 2008

Grrr...I Was Tagged

Well, first of all, for those of you who tried leaving comments on The Dark Harvest or Lunacy In a Box, you should be able to, now. I think. I tried fixing it, and I left a comment on my own post, and it worked, though I don't know if it'll work for you guys. Oh well. Give it a shot and if it doesn't work, too bad for you.

Second of all...I've been tagged!!! Hooray for me.

For those of you who don't know what tagging is these are the rules:

1.Each blogger must post these rules first.

2.Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

3.Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things.

4.At the end of your blog,you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.

5.Don't forget to leave them a comment,telling them that they've been tagged and to read your blog

Well, here go my facts/habits.

1. Today is my birthday! Yeah, I feel special. You guys should all give me presents. I totally deserve them. Today I received Guitar Hero World Tour and Iron Man the movie. Awesome, right?

2. Erm..I seriously enjoy drawing. It's like my number one hobby thingy. I do it whenever I'm bored, and I doodle a lot. Sometime I'll have to put some of my art up here.

3. Hey, if you notice that I'm following dark☼horizon, door-knob-eating-carpet-licker, and darkjewel's blogs, it's cause I know them from places. Yeah, and I mean real life, not some RPG game or myspace or whatever.

4. Calvin and Hobbes rocks, man. If you don't know what that is, you do not know the meaning of life.

5. I like pretty much All kinds of music, except for country. I hate anything that sounds even REMOTELY country. For those of you who actually listen to that stuff: What the heck is wrong with your ears?

6. I'm addicted to YouTube. It is insanely awesome, people. My favorite videos are : How To Be Gangster, Charlie the Unicorn 2, and waay more.

7. I travel a lot. I've been to 20-some states and 6 countries (Spain, Holland, France, The United States, the Philippines, and Japan). I'm used to loooooong boring car and airplane rides. To get to Spain, I had to stop at an airport in Holland. Something happened and for some reason we missed our flight. Yeah. Oops. So we had to sleep in an airport overnight. The chairs weren't very comfortable, but at least I had time to finish a book.

8. I'm a tree-hugger and animal-lover. I hate pollution and animal cruelty. Some people say that they don't like some types of animals because they're ugly or they kill people or whatever. But I don't dislike any animals at all. And...Uhh...That's it.

So, Cruz is the one who tagged me. I guess I have to tag a few people now too. So I tag Darkjewel, Door-Knob-Eating-Carpet-Licker, Firenze, Dark Wolf, Robert Varulfur, Levi, Avalon, and Awesomeness Looks Good With Wings.

So, I'll leave comments on your blogs, people. You don't have to do this if you don't feel like it but whatever.


Friday, December 19, 2008

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

Ahh, where have all the flowers gone?

When you look outside, do you see the wonder of nature? Or do you see the chaos that we humans have left behind? Do you see trees and flowers and green and wittle bunnies or do you see buildings and litter and gray and stray animals wandering around with their ribs sticking out of their sides?

Think of how even fifty years ago, you could take a glance out your window and see glorious nature. And now you can't.

And it's not just the environment, either. It's the animals.

The poor animals. It's their planet, too, and we stole it from them. We destroy their habitats and replace them with huge factories and homes and useless shopping malls and stores.

I mean, really, how many Walgreen's do you need? How many Wall Marts do you need? Not as many as there are in existence now.

Don't these people realize what they're doing? They're destroying the animals' habitats by building these pointless places throughout the world.

When will they ever learn? When will we ever learn?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


These are a few awesome songs. Well, that's my opinion, and I don't know if you like them or not. And, frankly, I don't care if you hate them. Ha ha.

What I've Done -- Linkin Park
Breaking the Habit -- Linkin Park
Have You Ever Seen the Rain? -- CCR
Move Along -- All American Rejects
Numb -- Linkin Park
Bad Moon Rising -- CCR
Hey There Delilah -- Plain White Tees
Eleanor Rigby -- The Beatles
Iron Man -- Black Sabbath
PB N Jellyfish -- Linkin Park
Bubbles -- Linkin Park
26 Lettaz In Da Alphabet -- Linkin Park

Of course, I like waaay more songs, too, but these are my favorites.

By the way, those last three songs are mad funny. I guess Linkin Park wrote them when they were incredibly bored or something.


Monday, December 15, 2008

Are You Environmentally Conscious?

Are you? Take this quiz and find out for yourself!

Just click on the pic!

Anyway, I have tiny egret feet. It rocks, man.


Friday, December 12, 2008


Hey. You guys should check out this awesome blog. My friend made it. His stories are chock full of detailed smurness. Anyway, his name is door-knob-eating-carpet-licker. If you like Maximum Ride or books like that, you should totally look at his blog. His stories are all action-packed and humorous, like Max's.

Random bears at a safari -->



Hey. I have some news. I have another blog now. It's .

You should totally go there, leave comments, follow, and whatever.

It's about the Grim Reaper (get it? DARK HARVEST? Like, the Reaper has a scythe, and scythes were used to harvest corn and stuffs? And he Harvests Souls. Get it?).

So...uhh....that's all for now.


Opan Chapter III

Light. Bright sunlight, burning into Opan's eyes, though they were almost completely shut.

Opan stirred, and instantly, pain violently roared throughout his entire body.

Then there was a voice. "Opan?"

The pup tried to open his mouth to answer, only to feel soreness rip through his jaw. Realizing that speaking would only make his life more miserable, he simply opened his eyes.

"Opan! You are well!" shouted a familiar voice.

The injured wolf scanned his den to locate the speaker. When he located the wolf trying to speak to him, his mother, he winced in pain. Even moving his eyes hurt.

"Oh, Opan, I was afraid that you were...d-dead! I quickly saw the damage done to the den, and I saw you lying limp in this corner!" His mother sounded as though she had been through a lot of stress. It could have been the war, but Opan wasn't sure.

At that moment, memories and realizations filled the pup's mind. Where was the White Wolf? Was he lurking in the darkness, preparing to strike?

This new horror summoned Opan's adrenaline, washing away some of the weakness and pain.

"Mother! Beware of the White Wolf. It is likely that the beast is ready to come back for revenge against me," Opan managed to choke out.

"White Wolf? I know of no such creature," replied his mother, sounding very confused.

Had the thing retreated after discovering such a tough foe? Opan wasn't sure, but he was ready to reunite with his mother.

"Opan, what has happened here?" his mother questioned him, an edge of fear in her voice.

At that, Opan hastily explained the entire battle between the White Wolf and himself, describing every detail.

"White Wolf?" his mother repeated to herself. "This creature reminds me of something I heard in a fable long ago, when I was a pup like yourself, but I am not sure."

Opan nodded. Then he noticed something strange. He could hear the sounds of war anymore. "Mother, has the war ended?"

"No, the war has not ended, but the battle has. We managed to scare off the Sol Pack for the time being. They retreated into the woods hours ago. If you could hold off a beast as vicious as this White Wolf, then you could definitely fight in the war, though I do not like the idea of you battling. We couldn't afford another death in this family." The last sentence came out a choked sob, which worried Opan.

"What do you mean 'another death in this family' mother...?"

"Opan. I'm so sorry. He fought as hard as he could. You should be proud of him," Opan's mother said, obviously trying to hold back tears.

Mother? You don't mean.."

His mother nodded and immediately burst out in emotion.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008



I feel really, really stupid right now. Look at these pictures.

These images clearly state how wasteful, unthinking, and ignorant to our environment we humans are.

I'm ashamed to be of the same species as the people who caused all this.

It's people like you and I who pretty much ruin our planet. We humans are constantly dumping trash and toxic junk into our once serene oceans and ponds and lakes. We humans never cease spewing terrible gasses into the poor old atmosphere.

So, I've come up with a question for all of you out there: Would you rather die of poisonous gas inhalation or toxic liquid digestion?

How 'bout neither? How 'bout we just do our part to end this terrible waste of our planet.

It's your healthy or live sick and ill.

SAVE THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Answers to Random Questions

Q:Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?

A:I'll drink weed killer and wear a lot of deodorant.

If there's no I in team, why is there meat?

A:Because there are animals that we greedy humans can kill to devour.

Your pajamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?

A:First: Because choo-choos waste a lot of coal and pollute and stuff. Second: Because I felt that choo-choos were too immature and kiddy.

The wicked backspin caught you off guard. How will you play it off without losing your footing?

A:By pressing the circle button on my PS2. It always works. Wait...we're talking about video games, right?

Why does the color blue mean raspberry-flavored?

A:Because the candy-makers get what the candy-makers want.

Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?

A:It will be made of meat, because I like meat. It will commemorate my being awesome and stuff.

Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?

A:I don't think I'll be able to eat; my tongue is stuck to my computer monitor.

Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?

A: Definitely! I've practiced for this for my entire life, man!

That's all for today...



Do you have a slight case of lunacy? Are you possibly insane? Has anyone ever told you that you are psychotic? Do you ever feel a little demented?

If you said no, then you are totally wrong.

One of my mottoes is that everyone is insane in their own insane way.

Fairly random, but whatever.

Updates to OPAN coming soon...


Thursday, December 4, 2008


Thanks again to all my followers.

And if you are reading my blog, leave a comment or follow or something...I'm starting to feel a little lonely. It would be nice to know that humans are actually reading this!

Anyway, keep following and commenting and reading, and I'll continue the posting!!! If you like the blog, spread the word (if you feel like it)!

~shadowolf (previously shadowmonkey)

Oh, and that's a picture of ice. And water. And rocks. As you can
tell, I was bored when I wrote this.

Opan Chapter II

Tremendous pain seared through Opan's body.

He forced his eyes to open, so he could learn what was trying to maim him. Soon, he regretted ever prying open his eyelids.

What Opan saw was a horror that would live with him forever. The sight would remain in his mind for the rest of his entire, miserable life.

And the gore leaking out of his body was not what scared him.

The gruesome thing he saw was a wolf... but not a wolf like himself. Or a wolf like his father. The wolf he saw was about twice the size of his father Shull, who was one of the largest wolves in the pack. Not only that, but this wolf's fur was white. Pure white. Its eyes were blood red, with no pupils. The terrible creature's maw was filled with enormous, knife-like fangs, which were pierced into Opan's chest.

Perhaps the most horrifying part was the thing's mane. It's mane was a roaring fire spreading fire to anything flammable in Opan's den, including some of Opan's fur.

He wasn't sure where this beast had come from, or why it was attacking. He didn't even fully understand what it was. But Opan was sure of something. It was a necessity to protect his den, along with the other members of his pack.

In spite of the pain caused by his burning fur and the wolf beast's claws and teeth sinking into his flesh, Opan forced himself to stand. Due to the almost unbearable pain and the weight of the creature pressing him, he almost collapsed. But he withstood all, and kept standing.

The strange beast loosened its grip in surprise, giving Opan a small opportunity to react. He let out the boldest sounding growl he could manage, but the growl was still weak.

Fortunately, the creature released Opan even for a millisecond. Opan did not waste his chance to kill. He whirled around, bared his teeth, and lunged.

Opan caught the White Wolf off guard. As the young pup sank his teeth into the White Wolf's hide, the beast let out a yelp. The White Wolf roared as tried to shake off Opan, but Opan, though a pup, tightened his grip. Opan felt something warm soak his mouth, and realized that it was the White Wolf's blood. This encouraged him to fight harder, and he started clawing at the monster's flesh.

A deep, long, bloodcurdling howl erupted from White Wolf's throat as he willed his fur to blaze more intensely.

The heat scorched Opan. The pup would have screamed in sheer agony, but that would mean letting loose White Wolf. So Opan Squeezed his eyelids shut and withstood the pain.

White Wolf had never faced an enemy so persevering. The beast knew there would only be one way to stop this pup. He closed his eyes and braced for impact.

He chose one wall of the den and charged it, running sideways, hoping to crush Opan against the unforgiving wall.

Upon Impact, Opan let out a weak yelp. Then, his world went black.

to be continued...